My Missing Piece

So it has now been a week since I have been home from my mission and I have had a lot of rough times this past week. I didn't know what to do with myself the first few days I was home, I felt like I didn't have a purpose in life anymore. The past six weeks my purpose was to bring others unto Christ or at least prepare to do so. When I got home I was totally lost. I would have given anything to go back to the MTC and when I say anything I mean it!! My iPods, my motorcycle, all of my skateboards, my snowboard, my truck, EVERY earthly possession I own!!! I seriously didn't want to be here, I wanted to be back on my mission SO bad. There were three things that got me through last week. First off I knew that me coming home was the Lord's will- that is the only reason I got on the airplane. I knew it was what the Lord wanted, I could feel it as soon as it started becoming a topic of conversation, I was filled with so much peace at a thought (coming home for a few months) that I personally thought was dreadful and the worst decision I could ever make. But I just had this indescribable feeling, I knew it was right, I knew the Lord wanted me to come home. The second thing that helped me through the week was that I know I will have the chance to be a missionary again!! I can feel it and so could my Branch President, the MTC Branch President, My Stake President, I mean everyone... We can all feel it, we all know that I am supposed to be a missionary, so that thought keeps me going. The last thing that helped me through the horrible week that was last week, was all of my wonderful support. I am so grateful for my family and friends who jumped in to be there for me! I owe so much to my parents, they have been so great and I have been a mopey mess and not very good at showing my appreciation. Thanks so much mom and dad for helping me out, you really are the BEST and I will try to be better at showing it by my words and actions!! I am also so thankful for amazing friends who clear their schedules to spend time with me and help me in anyway they can! Thanks to all of those who have been dishing out advice and have let me vent to them via voicemail, text or what not! Honestly these three things were the ONLY things that got me to today and my epiphany of sorts!


I kept living in the past, dwelling on my moments at the MTC both the bad and the good. I was missing the above pictured item so much!!! I thought that I needed that plaque to define myself, I wanted to be a missionary so bad that all I could do was dwell on the fact that I wasn't anymore. This morning as I was laying on my bed and I looked up at my wall (for those of you who don't know, I have two whole walls in my bedroom covered in Sharpie!! It is my quote wall that everyone writes on and it is amazing!) and as I was reading some of the quotes on there and I read one I had written a little over a year ago, I don't know where I got it at but it's by President Thomas S. Monson. I read this quote and then re-read it over and over and something just clicked in my head! (The one in brown writing in the center of the pic)

I realized that I have just been letting my days slip past. Ya I have a schedule and I follow it and ya I am doing "missionary things" but I have not been living!! I have been either dwelling on my days at the MTC or day dreaming of my return to the mission. I have been focused on "my missing piece" - My Missionary Name Tag-. Well no more my friends, no more dwelling and no more day dreaming!! I am going to look at the name tag (now resting on my dresser) as a reminder of the past and a goal for the future. It is my motivation, it is my past and my future and I will be living every day worthy to once again wear it. I will remember all of the things I learned at the MTC, I will prepare myself to return to the mission field all with one goal in mind- to be able to reunite myself with my missing piece. I will live these next few months to the best of my abilities as they are a gift from my Heavenly Father. It truly is a blessing to have this extra time to work on myself, the language and the doctrine before heading out into the field. I want to serve the Lord and I know that he wants me to be a full time missionary, but until that time comes again, with the Lord's help I will be the best Kristi Kleisler I know how to be, then when it comes time to be Hermana Kleisler again I will knock the socks off of everyone!! :)