I for sure never thought I would be putting my thoughts and feelings out into cyber space for all to see like this, but I feel like letting you all know what's going on and everything. I would be lying if I said that these last few weeks have been easy. Even after my epiphany two weeks ago, things have been rough. Pretty much like a roller coaster. I have had my good days (my ups) and my bad days, REALLY bad days (my downs) but through all of this I have been learning a lot about myself and I have been able to grow closer to my savior. I kept letting myself stay down and the bad days would continue, I have finally realized how much control I really do have over how I feel and whether I have a good day or a bad one. Today was a day that I told myself 3 weeks ago would be a bad one and I kept telling myself that all the way up until this morning. Today- May 28, 2008 is a date I probably won't forget anytime soon, it was my departure day from the MTC. Today was the day I would have gone to Texas. I of course kept thinking that today would be a miserable day because I am here instead of where I wanted to be. But that all changed when I woke up this morning. My friend Adam texted me and said to check out the pictures he had just put on his blog and I had just enough time before I left for work, so I quick booted up my laptop. Those pictures were a tender mercy. I looked at all of them and remembered the good times I had with each and every single one of those great missionaries and my teacher Hermano Wing. I thought of the amazing adventure they are about to take part in and what great missionaries I know they all will be. Instead of feeling down on myself and dwelling in the fact that I wasn't leaving with them- I realized how blessed I even was to go to the MTC in the first place and meet all of those amazing people who became family to me. The Lord loves me and I know it, he wants me to return to my mission and serve him. I will return, I will keep my head up and as my dear friend Adam would say to me I will "Rub Some Dirt On It Wuss" and take the struggles as blessings, learn from them and grow stronger. I will have a new departure date someday and that will be the one that I will NEVER forget!!
3 comments:
Love you Kristi - you're awesome.
Kristi, you are absolutely amazing and inspiring. :) You're the best! Love ya lots!
so pretty much i wonder if we were both this anxious to leave the premortal existence and the lord had to calm us both down so that we would go when we were supposed to go. haha I can just see us trying to sneak down into the "get a body deparment" up there and trying to get one during the middle ages or something . I always thought felt that the Lord made me stay home so that I would learn but now after all the people that i have met and been a part of their lives, I realized that he gave me that chance for others as well. I would have never have met my mission president who truly changed my life and i know that i needed him to be a guiding light while on my mission, i would probably not have been at the MTC right now, I made the decision to come to the MTC because of the testimony of someone in Texas during a fast and testimony one meeting while serving there. The Plan of God is so great and so merciful!
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